These are among the many questions, which people ask counsellors “Can counselling help me to deal with my anxiety? Can it help me to cope with other emotional problems such as feeling depressed? Are you able to help me in my crazy broken relationship where we spend more time away from each other?” Someone may whisper to a counsellor those dreadful words “You have no idea what it is to live with my spouse…the angry outbursts, the physical violence and the emotional putdowns! I fear that my kids are in hell with me!” Behind the masks worn by those who have been abusive are questions such as “Why did I do that? Do real relationships happen only in movies and on TV shows?” Some may come and share about their struggles with substance abuse as it is getting dangerously out of control.
The good news is that counselling can help you if you do play an active role in the change process. The counsellor at this point is a catalyst in a client’s journey of change. What does it mean for you to play an “active role”? This means that when you leave the counselling room and make the decision to work on strategies that you and your counsellor have identified together, you decide to do something about what is unsettling you. To change behaviours that is not helping you and others require hard work. You will find yourself thinking, speaking and acting differently as you slowly put into place new behaviours to replace the old way of doing things. Counselling becomes successful when through constant practice new behaviours are learnt and are made part of your life! It is most important for clients to work on specific steps identified in the counselling room to experience changes. Passive listening does not change anything!